Friends Can Either Help You Sail To Your Destination Or Sink Your Boat


A famous proverb states: The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18)

There is a story from Asia about two crabs in a bucket.

It goes something like this: “…if you place a crab in a bucket by itself it can easily crawl up the sides of the bucket and escape. Apparently, if you place two crabs in the same bucket, neither of them will escape. The story recounts that as soon as one of the crabs begins climbing the wall to ‘freedom’ (to a better life) the other one will pull it back into the bucket and vice verse with the other crab! Both crabs eventually die in the bucket and neither reaches its goal of freedom, i.e., a better life.” *

Had any crab problems lately?

If we’re to progress in our careers we need to be careful with whom we share our dreams. Often, when we communicate a desire to progress and express ourselves in a different way, it can threaten the mediocrity or complacency in those around us. That is, those who don’t want to grow or change.

If you want to escape the bucket and experience growth and a richer life, be aware that if you unwisely share it with the wrong ‘friend’, don’t be surprised if you’re ‘encouragingly’ dragged back into the bucket.

There is some wisdom in a verse in the Good Book that relates to this: “Don’t throw your pearls before swine.” (Mt. 7:6) That is, don’t share your dreams and passions with those who will not appreciate them and not treat them as a valuable treasure – like you do!

If you do share these precious dreams with others and they ‘verbally trample all over them’, you can potentially walk away with your aspirations and ambitions bruised and battered, so be careful with whom you share them!

In addition we need to be wise about who we allow to speak into our lives. Anthony Robbins has been heard to comment in some of his seminars, “You love your family and friends, but choose your peers.” That is, you choose (wisely) who you listen to about certain areas of your life. For example, you might have different peers for business, spirituality, sport and recreation, family matters, education, nutrition, or careers.

Furthermore, Donald Trump has been quoted as saying, “I don’t listen to the ‘everybodies’; I listen to the ‘somebodies’!” That is, those whom he allows to speak into his life.

So, if I could summarize this message with some witty wordy wisdom:

“Beware with whom you share; as their words can ensnare, scare, show care, add fanfare or just emit hot air!” © Horan, 2013

Pleasant Dreams,

Brian Horan


Brian Horan is a Careers Counselor/Coach, a published author and international speaker. He is also the Managing Director at eCareers Academy, a Career Counselling service. You can find out more about his services by visiting the website , giving him a call on 1300 396 929 or sending an email,  


© Brian Horan at eCareers Academy; August, 2014


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